If you stumbled upon this page by accident (and I
certainly hope you didn't), go here before
reading this at all.
Now, without further ado, witness the majestical majesty of the
answers to my citizenship test!
- 50. You don't know this, you die.
- 50. What a coincidence.
- Judicial, Executive, Legislative.
- The two seperate parts of the Legislature (Congress also
accepted). Use your own discretion with this and all other open-ended
questions. "Different types of squirrels" gets you no points and a
bullet in the temple, while "Parts of the Legislative branch" or "the
two elements in the bicameral institution that is Congress" will yeild
- 100 Senators, 435 Representatives.
- Checks and balances are devices used to restrict the power of
different elements in a system, particularly an administrative
system. a) Congress writes a bill, but the President must sign it
before it is a law. b) The President appoints a Supreme Court Justice,
but Congress must approve the nomination before the nominee is a
judge. c) The House votes to impeach a civil official (such as the
President), but the Senate must convict said official before the
official is actually impeached. There are plenty of other answers, so
look them up on the web (after you've
written your answer down. Dirty cheater.)
- A really nasty hurricane that flooded the entire city of New
Orleans and many other places in the "Deep South." (The term "really
nasty" isn't mandatory. Use some common sense.)
- John Roberts and Harriet Miers are both nominees to be Supreme
Court Justices. They are under review in Congress at the moment.
- Michael Brown was the Federal Emergency Management Association (FEMA)
director. Because he was horribly unequipped for the job (he was the
head of the Arabian Horse Racing Association), he screwed the hell out
of managing the Hurricane Katrina emergency. Jerk.
- The current US President (only for another two years and three
months... how much more can he screw up. Knock on wood.) is George
Walker Bush. His approval ratings are now below 40% (39% as of October
11th, 2005), so the answer is "No, they hate the crap out of him."
It's approaching a record low for the U.S., so all he has to do is
destroy another city and we're all set. (Note: the previous sentence is
my cynicism, not part of the answer.)
And now, for what you should do with yourself after you count up your
total points out of 14.
- If, by the second time you counted your points, you ended up with
more than 14, run out of your house in your undies and lay in the snow
for as many minutes as points you miscounted. It'll work better than
Electro Shock Therapy.
- 1-3 total points. Lock yourself in a very dark room with nothing
but a metal chair in it. You'll learn more about the country that way,
because no one can possibly be as stupid as you are and stay
- 4-6. Follow the advice of
great man (Warning: Not safe for any purpose. Very bad
language. I'm still not kidding, though.)
- 7-10. You seem to actually know how to
- 11-14. Great. You've met the standards of a 3rd grade kid. Try
real one so your head doesn't get too big.
Author's note: I do not condone suicide at all. Don't really
do it. I'm just trying to make a point here - a) Neo-Conservatives
suck and b) it's really important to know about your own country. You
live here, you say the pledge, you stand for the National Anthem, but
it all means nothing if you don't know anything. I've always been
firm believer in the idea that not only does education give you a
future, but that ignorance leads down the path of the dark
si... er... the "burger-flipper." Do you want to work at Micky D's for
the rest of your life? I didn't think so. Learn about your